It is not often that I post in here... And it is even less often that I gather the courage to write about my feelings in public, so even now I ask myself why I sit here and write. But I guess I just want to. Perhaps this can also explain my relative lack of activity of this Wiki beyond ocassional comments...
We have a saying in Latin America: "No hay mal que por bien no venga", which can be (very) roughly equated to Harvey Dent's famous quote: "The night is always darkest just before the dawn".
This year has been... exciting for me. Filled with good and bad things in my life.
I got two new jobs, one after the other, on notorious institutions (the Peruvian Central Reserve Bank and the National Library of Peru). I met new people, made some friends, and was able to explore new areas of my aspiring profession as a historian. And even got some of the highest grades I ever had on college, raising my medial average by a considerable margin.
And I also began a slow process, to hopefully overcome issues that have plagued me since my childhood, that only worsened after I fell into a deep deppression after a nasty event late on 2013. I reecently managed to wrap up some loose ends with someone from my past, and I'm glad to know we are on good terms again.
Unfortunately, as I have been said before, such a road is a painful one. Especially when you have to juggle other issues in life...
The jobs I got are just minimum wage, so I can not truly do much with what little cash I get from them, while helping my mother make ends meet. And all the achievements I made costed me hours of relentles stress, and that addled to various personal issues including the above mentioned gave me a gastric ulcer. Not too big, but a clear sign that worse things may come if I'm not careful.
But of course, when things are bad, we always need a bomb to nail it all down...
A few weeks ago, I found that my father, a wreck of a man I have not seen in ten years, laid dying on a hospital bed from a fulminating neumonia, his lungs had literally collapsed and he was comatose, connected into tubes just to be able to breathe... He seems stable. But his situation is uncertain...
I was told to pray... But I can not do so. I have not prayed for 6 years, for I no longer have a deity to direct my prayers to. I can only hope. Maybe one of the many deities of the many pantheons and faiths around the world, or some greater force that trascends all human notions, can bring themselves to answer this... Who knows?
I don't believe in miracles... But at the moment, I think I really want one... I hope this dark night is truly just the prelude to a new dawn.
I also hope everyone else here is having a happy holidays. With all these burdens, I will try to enjoy mine as best as I can.
As a last thing to say... I want to thank all our members. Old and new. Reccurrent users or casual visitors. Regular users, or those whose contributions made them worthy of pomotion into Admins. Thank you all for making this Wiki a better page.
I wish you all a Merry Christmass. And a happy New Year.